Out of My Mind
by lawjenrence
Summary: Glee Fanfic. Santana's POV. Brittana.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first attempt at a Glee Fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it. It is a Brittana Fanfic.**

_Chapter one:_

_"'I thought you loved me?' she said emotionless. 'Yeah, well I was out of my mind,'"_

_I do love you Britt. _That's what I wanted to say. I wish I said it. Why didn't I? If I want her all to myself then I should have told her the truth. Should I talk to her about my feelings, Like she does with Artie? _Artie. _Mr. McCripple Pants? I wants to gets my lesbian ons. With him around i can't have Britt.

'Britt!' When she turned round at the sound of her name everything went into slow-mo-mode. Her blonde locks swung round above her head. She gazed aimlessly passed my face. I suddenly remembered I was annoyed at her. Or was she annoyed at me? I don't remember.

'Santana, I thought you hated me,' Her knuckles were turning white as she gripped her pink folders. I've never seen her this way. My eyes started to prick with tears.

'I could never hate you, Britt-Britt,' the blonde smiled the same smile that only makes me want to hug her forever. I jumped forward towards her and wrap my arms around her waist. I stay there until the tears have dissapeared completly. 'I'm sorry,' I look down at my feet.

'I want you Santana, you have to know that,' Her smile fades slowly as she starts to turn serious. 'but I can't leave Arite, not now,' She reaches up to her face to tuck a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. 'I hope you understand,'

'Yeah, I understand,' I start to get the same feeling as I did yesturday. I will never be good enough for her. I will never be her...her Artie. 'Have fun with your Boyfriend,' When I look back I can tell how harsh I must have sounded. 'I don't want you anyway. Did you honestly think I..._loved_ you? Don't be stupid,' The words tasted sour in my mouth as soon as the shot out. The blonde burst into a frenzy of hiccups and snorts. Through her sniffling she managed to spit out :

'You were the only one who never said that to me,' She ran off in the direction of either the bathroom or Artie. I'm not sure where he was or where she was going, to be honest. My eyes blurred up with tears, i turned around swiftly and bumped in Mr. Schue.

'Hi, Santana, are you alright? You look upset,' I wiped my eyes and pushed his chest.

'I'm fine, leave it,' I walked in what I think was the oppisite direction of the way Britney went.

**If you liked this, please let me know! I will probably be writing some more.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

I ran down the halls feeling my way along the walls so I could have some sense of direction. I couldn't care less how I looked right now.

I stayed in my room, specifically my bed, all weekend and I did not intend to move for Monday morning.

'Come on sweetheart,' My mum walked in with a bowl of cereal. 'You need to stop cryin' for one momento so you can tell me what's wrong,' She smiled at me, her little pink cheeks puffed up and the wrinkles on her cheeks smoothed out. 'Boy troubles?' I can't tell her about Brittany. I decided a long time ago it would never be okay to tell her.

'No, I'm just feeling sick Madre,' Thats when I got out of my bed for the first time in 56 hours.

I walked over to my locker and started to twist at it. I wasn't really paying attention and that's probably why I was still there several minutes later when Brittany came over. She was sobbing more than the time I called her stupid... ugh. Even just thinking about that event made me want to roll up and cry.

'What's wrong?' even though I had just thought of the incident a moment earlier, I had forgotten it long enough to ask her this. It was reflects. I can't ignore the hysterical blonde. She looked up at me.

'I know I'm stupid,' I raised my eyebrows. _What?_

'No Britt-Britt, I know it's what i said ... but you really have to stop listening to me. I'm the stupid one,' I smiled up at her pretty face.

'It wasn't you San,' another huge tear fell from her perfectly mascared eyes. 'It was Artie.' She started to cry onto my shoulder. The only thing I could think of right then..._Kill Artie._ Obviously I wasn't going to kill him. He's already a cripple, what more can I do? Anyway, even if I am from Lima Heights Adjacent, doesn't mean I murder everyone who calls my girl dumb. I ran off and just before i turned the corner I heard Brittany shout out.

'No! Don't!' She obviously knew me well. I could be running to sort out my eyebro's, but Britt thinks different to anyone anyway. I looked back to her and just to my excitment the person I bumped into was Sir Legless himself.

'What do you think your doing? Cómo te atreves! Leave ma' girl alone, dead legs,' His mouth opened slightly as though he were about to speak with his annoying drowning voice. 'no lo niegue! no lo niegue! no lo niegue! Don't ever call her stupid again. i no me gustas, not one bit.' I nearly, almost spat right there and then on his bowl-cut.

'San, you shouldn't have done that,' I little mousey voice had come up behind you.

'I'm just trying to protect you,'

'You see? that's it! everyone thinks I'm so vulturable! I'm not, I can do things for myself!' I knew she meant "Vulnerable" not "Vulturable" but i didn't think now was the best time to bring it up.

'I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Britt. I want you to be safe always. I want you to be safe with _me. _I love you more than anyone in the world. You're my best friend.' I swung my arms around her neck. Thankfully, she hugged me back. I started to cry because of how much the Blonde meant to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

**Authors Note: Sorry for being away for so long, forgive me. I hope you like this Chapter, It took me a while to come up with an idea for it. You may notice i stole a few scenes from the actual show because i wanted it to all fit together. Enjoy.**

"You don't understand nana." I looked down to me bare knees and twisted my hair around my finger.

"I understand more than you think I do, It's wrong, why would you tell me this? It's a secret for a reason" I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"_Regrets collect like old friends_

_Here to relive your darkest moments_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_And all of the ghouls come out to play." _

I froze and started to cry. 'Oh great, now I look like Berry' I thought. 'might as well make it hot, right?' I continued.

_"And every demon wants his pound of flesh_

_But I like to keep some things to myself_

_I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind_

_I can never leave the past behind_

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

_I'm always dragging that horse around_

_And our love is pastured such a mournful sound_

_Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_

_So I like to keep my issues drawn_

_But it's always darkest before the dawn_"

I walked over to Britt and grabbed her hand. She stood up and started to dance. I keep singing while watching her moves closely.

"_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

_I am done with my graceless heart_

_So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart_

_Cause I like to keep my issues drawn_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_"

Her hips were swaying perfect time to the beats I was singing. Her arms twisting and waving around herself. I took her hand again and looked her in the eye.

"_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off_

_And given half the chance would I take any of it back_

_It's a fine romance but its left me so undone_

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_Oh woah, oh woah..."_

I rolled my eyes as I felt the song dragging on too long, my voice going hoarse.

"_And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't_

_So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road_

_And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope_

_It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat_

_Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me_

_Looking for heaven, found the devil in me_

_Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah_

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_

_So shake him off, oh woah"_

I held the last note too long while staring into Britt's eyes. I burst into tears once more before hugging the blonde and whispering to her.

"I love you more than anything," She kissed my on the check and smiled.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I thought Santana rocked." She jumped up and down and clapped her hands, her ponytail bouncing around. Everything went into slow motion as I watched my girl dance around in front of me. I almost missed what Mr Schue asked me next.

"Is there any specific meaning behind this song, Santana?" I gulped.

"Yes. I love Brittany."

"We know that Santana. You guys should win 'Best friends ever' for the yearbook this year" Quinn popped up. She smirked.

"No, Quinn, I _love _Brittany and I only just realised how much. I told my nana last night but-" I stopped because my voice did. Why couldn't I speak? Why couldn't I see anything? I saw a white flash and-

"-and unicorns too." I opened my eyes and the springy blonde was laying next to me. "You're awake." She kissed me on the lips.

"Britt." She put her index finger over my mouth to shut me up and kissed me again.

"I love you San." she kissed me some more and I was more than happy to return the favour. We did this for about 10 more minutes. I was crying then. I reached up to wipe away the tears but Britt got there first. "It's okay, you just fainted. What was it you were saying? you told your nana what?"

"I told her about me liking girls, Britt. I told her about liking you. But she made me leave and never come back. I love her so much but she hates who I am and I don't know what to do" I nuzzled into her breast and weeped for a while.

It has been five days since the incident in the choir room when I finally went back to school. It was a good job Mama believed I was ill.

"Hey, wanna call me?" I whipped round to see what asshole was talking to me. It was some douche of the football team.

"Excuse me?" I was confused. Hadn't he heard? Had anyone heard?

"It's okay babe," He put his fat arm around my shoulder and I backed away. "You just need _the right guy to straighten you out."_ the next thing I remember is slapping that ass in the face.

"It's got to be an expulsion this time William." Principle Figgins was shrinking behind his desk. "We have a whole drawer for Santana's personal record and we have let her off too many times before. I am so sorry Will."

"You can't do this! We're weeks away from nationals and Santana has such a strong voice!" Santana finally decided to say something.

"But I'll be back in time for the competition and Britt will give me the sheet music so i can practise at home."

"Santana," Mr Schue looked over to me. "If you get an expulsion you're not aloud to compete. It's in the rule book, remember?" I can't believe he still thinks I read that.


End file.
